we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
