let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I need to calm my uterus...
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
