No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
A bitchslap is in order.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
