Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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