the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
