Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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