Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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