it was like fucking gandolphs beard
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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