this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
