i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
