the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
