using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
