Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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