I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
tell me about the fingering
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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