people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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