lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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