I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
