You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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