You work out of a Hotel?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
