dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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