Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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