did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
