A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
