Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
