He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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