when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
