I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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