If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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