4 words: hood of his car
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
