Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Randomize
