When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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