Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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