Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
