Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
