Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
