Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
