im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
and you said cock pushups were impossible
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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