I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Randomize