i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
