Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
