I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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