I'm laying in your front yard are you home
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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