perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I need water and some morals
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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