bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
