so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
