i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
