Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i will never coherently bang her
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
