I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
