We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
