having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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